End of term

End of term.

Good things:
not saying 'getdressedgetdressedgetdressedstopmessingaroundgetdressedhonestlyiamnotkiddingwearelateagainpleasegetdressedgetdressedGETDRESSEDFORGODSSAKEokimgoingwithoutyounoyoucanttakethecat'
Not saying 'comecomeonpleasedontlookatthemouldysweetonthefloorwearelatehurryupfotgodssakegetoutofthatpuddledontwslkinthepooohgodbrushitoffonyhegrassohgodbrushthatoffontheotherbitifgrassnowecantgodownpooalley'
Not saying 'sorry we're late'

Bad things:
Saying 'look, we are going to have to get on for the next few weeks, so please stop the killing each other stuff just for a bit'
Saying 'only 42 days to go'
Saying 'sorry it's a bit last minute but...'

Looking forward to the two and a half days I get to go to work. Oh. Am I?

Imelda Marcos

This morning at 4am I discovered I have a lot of shoes. Really a lot. Not an excessive amount compared to your average female, but more than one would wish to have in a cupboard with a half dead mouse hiding in them. They are now all on the floor. In fact maybe I just have a small floor. Daughter later found the mouse in her room. *How cute it is* Until she saw its tail. Yuhuhhh! Left Bloody Cat to deal with it. Bloody Cat slept. **UPDATE found dead mouse in my slipper - hope its the Same One. It has a tail...**

Work life balance

Work life balance is a bit more like work life waltzer. Spun round untill sick, dizzy and utterly cheated of fun. My house smells too. How annoying is that? Have removed rotten robin corpse and mouse. Even did the washing up and emptied the compost caddy. Think Bloody Cat has left a frog behind the drier. But got ID'd today. The lovely lovely lady (in glasses) didn't believe I am thirty-ahem, but let me buy the pink wine when the bloke behind me laughed out loud.

Foodie

I have suddenly developed a fanatical interest in cooking blogs. Just to make it clear, I do not cook very well. But I do most certainly do very well at eating. Actually, to be honest, today, following a weekend-long hangover, I have been unable to do anything other than gawp at stuff on tinternet. Bad mum. We had fish and chips for lunch and beans on toast for tea by the way.

Tweet

This is precisely what noise the robin under my bed was NOT making at 6am. It was more ungodly. Like 'skreeeep... skreeeep' each time the cat battered it. Husband and I had a 'discussion' about cats' homes. He didn't buy the 'she's showing us she loves us' line. Stood on the pointy bit of a brooch taking the corpse downstairs. Think I agree with the husband now.

Clot

I am proud to announce another show of spectacular clumsiness, yes I gave my public another of my Idiot Falls. Carrying the ruddy blinking recycling out my ankle forgot to work properly (been taking tips from the remote controls no doubt, although I can generally find my ankle) and did a Wibbly Flop Splat on the step. Husband raced to... turn up the volume on the telly. Couldn't even swear, someone was walking past. Didn't get a round of applause but I do have some blood on my back. Oh hang on, that's pizza sauce.

Groundhog

Things that happen every day, that also happened today: 1) Daughter, despite being asked, does not get dressed in the morning. 2) Daughter, despite being asked twice, does not get dressed in the morning. 3) Daughter, despite, ah well, you probably know, today was eight times then I whipped her nightie off myself. 4) Daughter, after several times of asking, lets me do her hair. 5) Daughter wriggles. 6) Daughter goes to school looking like Wurzel Gummidge. 7) Son has tantrum in supermarket. 8) Son does a poo, says 'finished', is not finished. X 2 9) Son does not want to get into bath. Negotiations occur. Bribery occurs. Emotional blackmail occurs. I pick up son and dunk him in bath. Big scream, apparent violation of human rights. 10) Son refuses to get out of bath. 11) I drink gin. 12) Husband falls asleep on sofa. Things that happened today that doesn't normally happen: 1) Son also had a tantrum in the Garden Centre. 2) Daughter didn't need to do a wee in the middle of ballet. 3) Son finally finished poo then checked his pants for aliens. 4) I had a beer before my gin.